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ANDY GRIFFITH imissauntbee@ole.augie.edu Staring out the window of her eighth-floor dorm in Granskou Hall and marvelling at the array of twinkling lights in the night, sophomore Chloe VanGerpen reflects on her life upon moving to Sioux Falls. “I never thought I would become a city-slicker,

BROCK JOHNSON sayyestothetux@aol.com Listen here, ladies—it’s not all Fortnite and sweatpants, muscle and chocolate milk. Men like fashion, too. But it’s as if women think that men do not care about their outward appearance. I say, it’s time we end the matriarchy in the

PETER TENTIOUS pretentious@moma.org There’s a quiet rebellion going on in the Eide/Dalrymple Gallery, sparked by local artist Ambrosia White. She wears black lipstick, smokes cinnamon sticks and wants to, as she said, “wake the proletariat up.” She plans to do so through her delicate, intimate sculptures

Rain sucks. Let’s drink. MEREDITH PALMER 5yearssober@dundermifflin.com What’s yellow, coconutty, alcoholic and Puerto Rican all over? The piña colada. What’s wet, dark, cold and depressing? (Hint: not the snow Sioux Falls has been getting.) Think spring. Rain—correct! In case you’re clueless, the piña

ALLIE HAMILTON ifyoureabird@365letters.com Rupert Holmes blessed the world with the 1979 banger “Escape,” also known as “The Piña Colada Song.” You all know how it goes… dude sees an ad for a personal column that says: “If you like piña coladas, and getting caught in the rain, If

CHER HOROWITZ virginwhocantdrive@asif.com Instagram. Twitter. Snapchat. Facebook.  These four social media apps lived in harmony, then everything changed when Snapchat came out with the new update. Snapchat changed its original format since its release in November 2012 and many users were outraged to find their apps had updated.

JUSTIN KAUTZ jkautz14@ole.augie.edu In a world riddled with war, famine, corporate greed, theocracy, school shootings, opioids, Facebook data breaches, tariffs on Chinese electronics, underpaid teachers in Oklahoma, child labor in Eastern Europe, Tide Pod lunches, teenage rappers with “Lil” in their name and people who honestly enjoy