Poop fearlessly: Promoting courage in campus bathrooms

We’ve all been there. The guttural urge hits, and you make your way to the public restroom, praying that no one else is inside. You feel momentary relief when you don’t spot any pairs of feet under the stall doors. 

As you unzip and lower yourself to the bowl, gearing to relax, you hear the swing of the bathroom door and your sphincter tightens once again. 

You flush the empty toilet, wash your hands and leave with the world thinking you only disposed of a polite tinkle. You may have fooled unexpected company or your classmates, but your clenched cheeks and aching stomach will remind you that a job is yet to be completed. 

There are many unspoken rules in public restrooms, especially surrounding bowel movements — like waiting to be alone to take a dump, or making haste when you sense that someone in a surrounding stall requires more time. If solitude isn’t an option, courtesy flushing is the best thing that can be done to limit the odor, even if it can’t always limit the sounds. 

In college, many students will experience living in close proximity to strangers for the first time in their lives. There’s a big lack of privacy involved with sleeping, eating and trying to use the bathroom with classmates every day. 

Seeing those same people at all times, especially at a small university, can make you more aware of how you come across to others. This can make performing bodily functions very nerve-wracking because of the stigma surrounding human waste. 

Well, what are we so afraid of? 

It’s no secret that silent judgement can stem from openly producing an unpleasant sound or smell, even if it’s natural and unavoidable. That judgement can turn into fast-spreading social repercussions at a small liberal arts university like Augustana where we’re only a few links away from anyone on campus. 

Wouldn’t it just be the end of the world if your situationship somehow found out you passed gas in the bathroom after a Chik-Fil-A meal? 

As scary as that sounds, the real consequences come from holding it in.

Delaying the release of your bowels can contribute to chronic constipation, stomach pain and digestive problems. Of course, you can choose to delay for short periods of time every once in a while, but if that turns into a regular habit, it can become a huge problem.

Hardened stool from refusing the bathroom and becoming constipated can obstruct your appendix, thus increasing your chance of appendicitis. A ruptured appendix simply cannot be more glamorous than dropping a log in the FSC. 

Maybe worse, the chronic constipation mentioned earlier can stretch the anus to the point where you can’t control solid or liquid stool from leaking out of your body. This is called fecal incontinence and can require rectal irrigation or sphincter surgery to repair damage. 

Individual fear isn’t the only thing keeping students from pooping. The college environment unintentionally makes this issue much worse. It’s not just the judgment from peers; it’s also the seemingly impenetrable schedules that feel so necessary. 

Being involved in so many things can get in the way of feeling relaxed enough to perform a bodily function like pooping. Additionally, if a student has to take three or four back-to-back classes in a day to fulfill their major requirements, they don’t have time to let one out in under 10 minutes between classes. 

So, what’s the solution? 

It’s time to normalize reality: everyone poops. Even your roommate. Even your situationship. Even your professors. Especially Danny Gerling. 

Accept minor awkwardness in the bathroom, and let one rip. No one cares as much as you think they do. If you’re a person who has historically chuckled or raised your eyebrows at a brave soul attempting a public bathroom poop, remember that change starts with you. 

Keep in mind the time you had a stomach bug or ate the wrong thing at the dining hall. Poop is something we can’t control, as hard as we may clench, and it’s much more dangerous to hide it. 

College is about growth, and sometimes that means loosening up. Let that start with your sphincter.