Political difference is a valid reason not to be friends
One of the most frustrating quips I hear from people is that politics shouldn’t determine your friendships. It makes me question if they even understand the state of the political world right now.
As much as we wish it was, politics is not simply about differing opinions on improving public transit or deciding when road infrastructure needs to be updated. Politics today is deeply intertwined with issues relating to human rights, peer-reviewed research and the survival of many people around the world.
I might debate with someone over whether Sioux Falls needs a light rail. We can debate feasibility, location, upkeep and cost. Afterward, we can get ice cream together and then continue on with our day. At the end of the day, that is just a difference of opinion.
However, much of politics is not that, especially in the United States. A person’s morals are heavily intertwined with their political beliefs: addressing climate change, being anti-racist, and believing in disability, women’s, LGBTQ+ and workers’ rights. These are all nonnegotiable aspects of politics, and how someone engages with them tells you a lot about their character.
You should care what opinions your friend has about the political state of the world. In the same way not caring about politics is a privilege, it’s also a privilege to say, “You can be friends with people you disagree with politically.”
In both situations, you do not have anything immediate to lose. Your ability to live without fear is not constantly under threat.
In my life, I feel the stress of the political climate very distinctly. My mom works as a paraprofessional (or teacher’s aide) at a school and has multiple cleaning jobs, but despite her hard work, her earnings are not enough for us to live comfortably without help.
My family is on the Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program (SNAP), and my siblings and I use Medicaid. My love for my family will not allow me to be friends with someone who would threaten our ability to live well.
Just because there are issues with SNAP doesn’t mean that it should be done away with. Until jobs pay enough for people to afford healthy food along with everything else, SNAP is necessary. Period.
There are some things that cannot be a matter of opinion. Whether or not you think climate change is real, it is happening, and it will negatively affect you. So much of politics has become either saying “nuh-uh” to fact or cherrypicking research to support your position.
I will concede and say that it is important to engage in conversations that are being held in good faith. Disinformation about trans people and climate change are particularly pervasive. (Note that I said “disinformation.” Disinformation is intentional, while misinformation is accidental.)
If someone is willing to learn, I think it is important to hold that discussion. However, many people are deadset in their ways. Deciding whether to be friends with such people then becomes a matter of discernment.
Saying that you don’t care about politics means that you are not affected when people’s rights are stripped away, that you do not have empathy for the millions exploited across our globe. If you want us to “not unfriend people over politics,” then let’s create a world where human rights and the validity of research are not up for debate.
